Deja Vu

Well we discovered in the last four days that Hayven shares in his brothers allergy to milk & soy. My perfect little baby began his violent, painful screaming just days ago. Fortunately his stomach pains have not been as bad as Rylans were. But anytime your baby is in pain is too frequent! Then I started noticing the blood in his stool as well. We are going to the pediatrician on Monday. My heart is truly broken because I cut the dairy out weeks prior to his birth. With Rylan it was discovered at six months so I guess by that time he had built up a tolerance to foods I was eating containing dairy. Things you wouldn't think to check, like a Nutrigrain bar. But this time I am having to micro-manage my diet. So I have to go and get special bread & read ALL the ingredients to make sure there is nothing with soybean oil, any kind of milk, or whey. I am totally bummed as I am already loosing weight rapidly. I was underweight after cutting dairy from my diet with Rylan, which for me is really bad because I am so small to begin with. But I found some really good sites & even a women who has a blog that contains recipes & food ideas for nursing moms whose children have these allergies. I figure if I have to I will make myself a schedule & just eat the same things all time. But most importantly I am concerned about Hayven. The last two days I have made sure nothing contained anything that would upset his tummy. But he is still having mucus, bloody, painful stools & gas. I am really hoping that it is not something more than dairy, such as eggs or nuts. He is still such a wonderful, sweet little baby. I feel so bad for him & it is really hard not to blame myself when I know it is my milk that is hurting him. Many people might wonder why not just put him on formula? Well, the only one that he can have would be Nutramagen & it is not only nasty as all get out, but out of our budget right now. Though if push comes to shove, & after seeing the doctor on Monday, we might be faced with making that decision. I love nursing & it would be very hard for me to give that up. I am convinced of all the benefits of nursing & really hope formula doesn't turn out to be the best alternative. (though I have nothing against those who choose to formula feed their babies, this is just a personal decision that I feel is best for my babies.) So please keep Hayven in your prayers for us.