Deja Vu

Well we discovered in the last four days that Hayven shares in his brothers allergy to milk & soy. My perfect little baby began his violent, painful screaming just days ago. Fortunately his stomach pains have not been as bad as Rylans were. But anytime your baby is in pain is too frequent! Then I started noticing the blood in his stool as well. We are going to the pediatrician on Monday. My heart is truly broken because I cut the dairy out weeks prior to his birth. With Rylan it was discovered at six months so I guess by that time he had built up a tolerance to foods I was eating containing dairy. Things you wouldn't think to check, like a Nutrigrain bar. But this time I am having to micro-manage my diet. So I have to go and get special bread & read ALL the ingredients to make sure there is nothing with soybean oil, any kind of milk, or whey. I am totally bummed as I am already loosing weight rapidly. I was underweight after cutting dairy from my diet with Rylan, which for me is really bad because I am so small to begin with. But I found some really good sites & even a women who has a blog that contains recipes & food ideas for nursing moms whose children have these allergies. I figure if I have to I will make myself a schedule & just eat the same things all time. But most importantly I am concerned about Hayven. The last two days I have made sure nothing contained anything that would upset his tummy. But he is still having mucus, bloody, painful stools & gas. I am really hoping that it is not something more than dairy, such as eggs or nuts. He is still such a wonderful, sweet little baby. I feel so bad for him & it is really hard not to blame myself when I know it is my milk that is hurting him. Many people might wonder why not just put him on formula? Well, the only one that he can have would be Nutramagen & it is not only nasty as all get out, but out of our budget right now. Though if push comes to shove, & after seeing the doctor on Monday, we might be faced with making that decision. I love nursing & it would be very hard for me to give that up. I am convinced of all the benefits of nursing & really hope formula doesn't turn out to be the best alternative. (though I have nothing against those who choose to formula feed their babies, this is just a personal decision that I feel is best for my babies.) So please keep Hayven in your prayers for us.

Hayven Zane Burgoon

This post is really overdue, so I do apologize! I have found that the only time in my life where I am a private person is when I have had my children. I like to take a little private time to welcome our new baby & get settled a bit as a family. So, without any further adieu, here's the scoop...

It all started last Monday, March 23rd, at 10:30pm. I had my doctors appointment that day & was at 3cm & about 60%. We set up my induction for the 30th (my due date was the 31st) but as many of you know, I was really reluctant this time to be induced. (I have no idea why, I just felt this baby wanted to come on his own.) And that is exactly what he did! So that night I went to bed & started having contractions. They progressively went from 20min to 5min apart throughout the night. I know this sounds crazy but I really didn't know if I was in labor or not so I never woke up Ben or called anyone. The contractions were getting more intense but I guess I had expected natural labor to be much more painful. I think it is because when I was induced with Rylan there were no breaks between contractions and with this baby I had breaks. So, I kept thinking I should maybe finish my bag packing, but then would decide I wasn't really in labor & I should sleep or I would be exhausted in the morning for no reason. I went to bed & of course I dozed here & there monitoring the contractions. Finally at about 4:30am I got up & thought, OK maybe this is it! So I went & got something to eat & told Ben I thought we might be going to the hospital in a few hours. But then the contractions still weren't that painful & so I went back to sleep. I remember between 4:30 & 6:30am having 3 really strong ones but the rest of the time I was conked out. So when I woke up at 7am and my contractions were 5 min apart I wasn't sure what to do. I still didn't think I was actually in labor. So I called my mom & told her they had been 5 min apart but they weren't that bad & I wasn't sure. She told me I was in labor & to call the doctor. Once again I thought I better eat! :) So I made myself some eggs & toast before waking up Ben & calling the doctor. OK, so by now I am starting to think I am in labor & that it is approaching the "too late" mark. Ben woke up at 7:30 & between then and 8:30 it was a race around the house, getting last minute things, getting the neighbor to come over to watch Rylan until my mom got there, getting a shower, etc...etc. We finally left about 8:30am (of course thinking about my stomach again, I grabbed a zip lock of honeydew I had cut up for the ride! We got 5 min down the road when a police officer pulled us over! At this point my contractions were 4min apart. I told him, "I hope you are here to give us an escort." ( imagine the traffic at 8:30am on a Tues) He was such a jerk, and long story short, I had to convince him I was not waiting for an ambulance & we had to go pronto! We arrived at the hospital at 9am. I felt like such a fool when they asked why I was there. By looking at me you would have no idea I was in labor. Like I said, it just wasn't the kind of pain or image I have ever thought of when a women is in labor. So, all the nurses were looking at me like, "Can we help you." I was like, Um...I think I am in labor." So they brought me into the same room where I had Rylan to check me, and I was at 5cm, so the nurse was like,"Ya, your not going anywhere." BTW-my water hadn't broken by this point, which maybe is why the pain was so tolerable, I don't know. Anyways, I labored for about an hour & a half and got my epidural when I was between 7-8cm dilated. I always wonder why I waited so long once I get it, but I would probably still wait again to tell you the truth. I have to be in severe pain to let them get near me with that thing. LOL So, that was at 10:30am. The nurse kept trying to break my water, but it was a no go. So I had to wait for my doctors lunch break to get things going anymore. Sometime between 10:30 and when the doctor came in my epidural started to go bye-bye! I didn't know what to do, and so I opted not to have a refresher. The doctor got there at 12:20 and broke my water, he said it would probably be about an hour & then I would be at 10cm and ready to go. About 10 min after he left the room, I told Ben he better call him back in. By this point, epidural was non-existent. The doctor rushed back in and I told him I wanted to go ahead and get that epidural again, he check me and said, "Ah, no...the only thing you are getting now is a baby!" I will spare you the details of the next 20min(how long the pushing went on) but let's just say, words can't describe that pain! At 12:54 we had a beautiful baby boy! He came out pale with the cord around his neck & not really breathing, but a few pumps of oxygen & he was good to go. They did take him for monitoring in the nursery for a half an hour but everything was fine. He weighed in at 7lbs exactly and 20inches long.

We are all doing very well so far. Hayven went straight to the breast while we were still in the delivery room. He latched right on from the get go & nursing him has been a breeze! My milk came in the day I came home from the hospital & we have already passed the engorgement phase & are doing great! I can't believe how much I love nursing! Rylan thinks it's the coolest thing & has tried to nurse Hayven with his own nipple several times now. Today he tried to pull up my shirt so he could "eat." I thought that was hilarious. He is a trip! He loves his little brother SO much. He helps us with everything & the hardest part has been keeping him from kissing him & holding him constantly. Hayven has been the best little baby too! I actually asked my mom if I should call the doctor because I thought something was wrong with him since he only eats, sleeps, & poops! He is so alert to our voices & has whipped his head around several times to see Ben or Rylan behind him. He also has the cutest expressions & smiles. We just adore him!

I have never felt so much love & happiness in all my life! It brings tears to my eyes when I think about being a mom to my two boys! I am so excited about it! I am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband too. He is the most amazing person to have by my side during labor! He is so thoughtful & caring and gives me so much peace. He has been working so hard and only got to spend a few days home with us. He is such an amazing father. I love watching him with our children, you can just feel the love he has for them and the love they have for him too. Watching him with our children is one of my favorite things in this world!

My mother was here for the last week & just went home today. She actually stayed with me in the hospital too so Ben could be home with Rylan. That was a HUGE deal since she had the worst place in the world to sleep! Thanks mom! We all love you! She was a BIG help & we are so grateful she was able to come. Ben's mom is coming in tomorrow & we are looking forward to having the extra hand since Ben is working.

Thanks everyone for the calls. I think everything this go-a-round has been so much easier for us just knowing the support we have had from family & friends. We love you all
and can't wait to introduce our new family member to the rest of the world! :)